plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
