I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
