I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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