i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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