Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
