I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
