what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Also, beer. Big fan.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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