How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
