I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
