3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
