First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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