dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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