Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
