Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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