I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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