Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
