He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize