Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
