I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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