Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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