I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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