im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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