We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
