we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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