it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
