I love black thongs
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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