So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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