At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
