my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
