I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
