things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
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