i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
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I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
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It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)