You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me