Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi

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  (214): The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi http://tfl.nu/pckk
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night

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  (610): i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night http://tfl.nu/1i94
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids

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  (301): I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids http://tfl.nu/xnc7
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.

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  (402): Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard. http://tfl.nu/co7z
  Replies (31) Good night (6766) Bad night (816) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can

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  (630): i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can http://tfl.nu/e7bo
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children

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  (303): My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children http://tfl.nu/bm0p
  Replies (17) Good night (2821) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.

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  (618): Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout. http://tfl.nu/q2nt
  Replies (42) Good night (9161) Bad night (1182) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.

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  (818): You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato. http://tfl.nu/nu5y
  Replies (4) Good night (1224) Bad night (1048) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here

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  (217): i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here http://tfl.nu/dmaq
  Replies (18) Good night (1536) Bad night (2247) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.

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  (917): I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration. http://tfl.nu/hksr
  Replies (5) Good night (757) Bad night (1583) Order T-Shirt
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.

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  (808): So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend? (832): Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required. http://tfl.nu/6w8v
  Replies (10) Good night (2839) Bad night (603)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn

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  (847): that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn http://tfl.nu/c0rj
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  (607): View more from New York

  I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.

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  (607): I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year. http://tfl.nu/ajj5
  Replies (4) Good night (1118) Bad night (238) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.

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  (314): Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back. http://tfl.nu/xqdn
  Replies (4) Good night (1001) Bad night (234) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future

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  (+44): You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future http://tfl.nu/4nas
  Replies (1) Good night (406) Bad night (199) Order T-Shirt

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