The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times