like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize