Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
