She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
