Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
