Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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