your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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