I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
