the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
