i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
