she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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