EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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