if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
