I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
