Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Welp...herpes.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
