So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize