And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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