actually, I'm a sock model
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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