I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
