Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
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I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
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Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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