guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
