RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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