Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
