well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
just tell him i said nine months
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
