no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
