About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Success! We fucked roommates!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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