You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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