i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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