Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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