they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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