i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
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