i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
