oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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